Do you experience feelings of sadness and despair without really understanding why, it is like a feeling of loss yet there is no one dead to mourn? Are you feeling not really good or bad? Fatigued, low in energy, lonely, stagnating, unsettled or empty? Having a lack of focus, not quite motivated. Not miserable but also not thriving. Have you lost touch with your inner feelings? Do you experience a lack of meaning or purpose or belonging? Not worried or anxious or depressed, but uninspired and joyless – just not yourself… then you might just be languishing!

Languishing was defined by Corey Keyes, a psychologist and sociologist in 2002. Languishing is the result of being in a prolonged traumatic stressful unfamiliar situation, in other words you are in languish and it continues and adds that “ing sting” to it and you neither move forward nor backwards emotionally. You are emotionally in pain yet you are not aware of it.

The current uncertainties, limits and confusion about the future, the drastic changes people are facing without any end in sight, are mostly seen as the activators of their Languishing. Currently, 1 out of 5 Americans are experiencing this phenomenon.

If you are an extrovert, single, millennial, or having a history of emotional challenges, you might be at higher risk to develop Languishing. Take charge and start flourishing!

Don’t wait until things change, take action! Start with a few small changes and see the difference!

Restoration comes when you return flow in your life (and follow through)

Be Mindful

Mindfulness or being in the now, is one of the best techniques to grow your consciousness, become aware of your emotional state and restore your physical health and your flow! Whether you choose washing the dishes, enjoying lunch, spending time with a loved one, focussing on one task at a time at work or taking a walk in a park to practice mindfulness, you will reap the benefit! Mindfulness implies to be actively focused on the ONE task you are busy with, reverting from thinking about the past or the future or what to do next.  Be actively aware of your physical body’s reaction and the task at hand, by just observing the flow you are experiencing with curiosity. Whenever your mind gets in the way, you just gently push the thoughts aside and refocus on the task at hand.

Gratitude

Every day find one thing to be grateful for and celebrate it. Tomorrow you add something else to your gratitude celebration and so you continue adding every day.

It is important to write it down. Stick it onto your mirror, or at your desk, or next to the kettle, so that you can see it and remind yourself all through the day.

Reach out

• Contact someone who is alone and do not have family close by.
• Choose someone else the next day and so you continue everyday to reach out to someone else.
• Reach out to a colleague and show appreciation.
• Promote social kindness.

Celebrate yourself

• Give yourself a compliment every day, and focus on the positive.
• Focus on what is right and good in your life.
• Forgive yourself where needed (with immediate effect: Do not wait until tomorrow) e.g. if you binged and you feel guilty, forgive and move on.
• Admit your vulnerability.

Find a positive escape

• Gardening: start a vegetable garden or herb garden, or start kitchen windowsill gardening
• Read a book on a topic you would like to know more about.
• Find a hobby that will be easy to maintain.
• Start a short online course.
• Begin positive journaling.
• Join a weekly group (book club/ sowing club/ angling/ study/ prayer/ knitting/ embroidery/ scrap booking/ gardening tips/ art/ group game)

Explore your Creativity

Creative activities will help your mind to be actively engaged and to become positively focused again. Whether you try it out on your own, or join an art therapy class to activate your creativity, it opens up the opportunity to express, explore and vent your emotions and again activate fun in your life!

Separate your workspace

Most of us have to use a space at home as office as well. Try to separate your workspace from the area of socialising, fun and rest. Actively change your workspace and even your clothes, to help your mind to make an active shift between living and working.

Stick to routine

• Wake up the same time during the week
• Go to bed the same time
• Eat a healthy breakfast every morning
• Plan your day. At the end of the day, take inventory of your achievements and complement yourself (celebrate it!)

Get moving

Get some form of exercise every day. Engaging in any form of physical activity could release endorphins and elevate your mood, energy and motivation.

Fast electronics

Put your phone and electronics in another room so there is no temptation to peep when it beeps. Rather spend time with your family and friends!

Change your environment

Paint a wall, add a colourful pot-plant or make small decorative changes. Use colours that activate positive emotions and add energy to your direct environment! Work one day a week from a coffee shop in your area, or take a walk in a park. Go to a different mall for your weekly shopping!

Be Purpose driven

• Have a positive engagement in activity
• Get focused on an uninterrupted task that gives you joy and a feeling of freedom
• Nurture positive awareness (see the beauty around you despite the unhealthy situation)
• Volunteer in your community

Learn new skills

Learn any new skill: Learn to play a musical instrument, try a new game or a new art form, take up on knitting or whatever challenge that will help you accomplish small incremental goals.

Compiled by Annemie Becker & Christa de Villiers

 Resources: Articles authored by Sarah Fielding, Hope Gillette, Prof Corey LM Keyers, Adam Grant, Anna Akana, Martin Seligman, Suzanne Cunningham